I've just met my birth mother. I cannot believe I've just typed that, but it's true. At 3pm on the 14th April 2010, I met her. And it was everything I could have ever had wanted. I'm just so happy! We chatted for hours, didn't leave until nearly 8pm!! She was so lovely, so warm and friendly. I was struck by just how strong she seemed, like she was holding it together for me, just like she had to all those years ago. Even though we were strangers, I felt like I knew her, it was just so comfortable. When she hugged me I couldn't help but cry, but she wiped my tears away like I was a little girl again and told me how lovely I was.
It's so difficult to get down everything I'm feeling into words, I'm so thrilled that it went well, but at the same time I'm very aware of how much we've both missed, years that we can never get back, I'm not her little baby anymore, how ever much I might wish to turn back time. I gave her a photo album of me growing up that my adoptive mum helped me put together. Mum came with me for the meeting and was, as always, very supportive and understanding. My dad turned up later and chatted to her as well, so both my parents are still involved and there for me, which I really appreciate.
I'm hoping to meet my half-brother next week now and move things on from there. It sounds like there are a lot of people dying to meet me, I've never felt so loved or so wanted! It's been difficult for me, I am sad for the years that my birth mother has missed, but grateful the years I've had with my adoptive family. A few years ago these feelings really confused me and I felt torn between my two families, but now I think I am beginning to accept my confusing family and am happy to not have only one loving family, but two! There will always be a sense of regret for what I've missed with my birth mother, but I cannot dwell on 'might have beens' anymore. I've had a wonderful life so far and my birth mother may have missed out on that, but there are many more years to come that I can enjoy and share with all of my families that I can now look forward to.
I've waited my whole life for this, and I think that now, finally I can stop looking backwards and look to the future, which right now looks to be bright and happy for everyone!
